Never or always?

It’s another foggy Wednesday morning. And after Monday’s email about the All-or-Nothing cognitive distortion, I’ve clearly struck a nerve.

So, let’s stick with that theme today with another example of a dangerous game our minds play on us. The kind of game that can really set us back if we’re not careful.

And this one I see constantly…especially debating with my kids:)


When we overgeneralize, we use one negative event to prove our point.

Have you ever been in an argument. Said either “always” or “never”. And thought you crushed it? Well, you didn’t.

Tell me if any of these sound familiar in your golf fitness world:

I hurt myself lifting weights…I’ll never be able to strength train again.I fell off the diet wagon again…I’m just the type who will never be able to follow a proper diet.I sliced my ball into the woods…I’m always going to be a slicer.It’s just a never-ending cycle of bummers. Wah-wah!

So, how do we stop this?

Sounds almost too simple, but the best way is to be aware that you’re doing it.

Ask yourself:

Am I doing all-or-nothing thinking right now?Am I overgeneralizing?That’s it. Just a simple “yes” or “no”.

Then, realistically Reframe the Thought.

Instead of “I hit another one in the woods. I always slice.” Tell yourself, “I hit another one in the woods. I sometimes do that.”

Then, your mind is right for your next shot.

We’re all human. And we all make mistakes. And that’s okay. And that’s part of the fun.

It’s not fair to not allow yourself to make mistakes and be human.

You’ve got this,
Jeff Pelizzaro

PS – If you’re ready to join a group of humans who lean into their mistakes and failures, then the 18STRONG Membership may be your jam.

Over the past 15-ish years, I’ve made most of the mistakes. Learned from them. Owned them. And can help you avoid them.

Whether you join us or not, at least stop beating yourself up.